Meg Whitman to investigate herself on Maid-gate affair (Satire)
In what his supporters are lauding as a gutsy and principled move, the Republican Candidate for Governor of California, Meg Whitman, in a well attended Press Conference, unveiled her plan to conduct a through investigation on the 2010 California's Gubernatorial Campaign scandal that has become to be known as 'Maid-gate'
As expected of the 'Liberal Lame-stream Media' bias, they relentlessly hammered Ms. Whitman on various aspects of the issue and investigation, to which she addressed, again according to her supporters, with her customary honesty and straightforwardness.
Floating were shades of another gutsy and principled move by another Republican Candidate and now Governor of California, Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger ('The Gropper", "The Groppernator"), when on November 6, 2003, he announced a similar investigation, on this case, about "allegations that he has repeatedly groped or sexually harassed women over his long career as a champion bodybuilder and movie star" (The allegation was that he groped at least 16 women over the last three decades)
Fueling the 'Liberal Lame-stream Media' Biases in their questions, were the similarities between then 'Gropper-gate'' and current 'Maid-gate', was the apparent tendency to avoid responsibility by blaming the Democratic opposition "But even as Republican leaders were denouncing the account as a smear tactic planted by Democratic allies of embattled California Gov. Gray Davis, the actor issued a dramatic apology at a campaign event this morning, saying he had "behaved badly sometimes""
Among the barrage of question to which she was submitted, was the similarity in how her campaign's advisor Rob Stutzman had claimed that her maid had intercepted the SSA Communication to her RE a 'No-match' return on her Social Security", essentially accusing Nicandra Diaz Santillan of committing a Federal Crime and how Schwarzenegger, an aide, and his campaign smeared former stuntwoman Rhonda Miller and according to her suit in a Los Angeles Superior Court, she charged that the Schwarzenegger camp told reporters that she had an extensive rap sheet, an obvious falsehood as it was discovered later.
Again, according to his supporters, Ms. Whitman showed her character by graciously answering the most impertinent, and obviously, tongue-in-cheek questions, such as "Ms. Whitman, will you also stand in front of a mirror and interrogate yourself?", "Will you shine harsh lights in your face?" (A couple of reporters were seen whispering in their respective ears and with malicious smirks in their faces, probably speculating if she was going to use the 'rubber hose' technique on herself), "Are you hiring a PI and by any chance is the same one that Governor Schwarzenegger hired and whose name was never disclosed, but rumor has it that his initials are OJ?" (Not addressed either, but obviously in the Lame-stream Media Corps's mind, was the fact that the real 'Gropper' is still at large')
With a straight face, Ms. Whitman said that in her reflections, she was brutally honest to herself in her answers and jokingly quipped that while the mirror is a useful tool, the 'shinning of harsh lights on her face' would defeat it's main purpose, which is to show the truthness (sic) reflected in the eyes.
Queried further on whether or not she was going to look into the fact that she had not personally taken charge on this issue as it surfaced in 2003, as was her responsibility as 'the employer', Ms. Whitman declared that she would look into it, notwithstanding the fact that her husband, as an equal partner in their marriage, had taken action by assigning the task to clear this matter where it properly belonged, which is in the hands of their employee whose responsibility was to clear this matter.
When asked to explain why both she and her husband, Dr. Griffith, had originally denied seeing the letter only to have her husband admit that he 'probably' had seen the letter with a scribbled note by Dr. Griffit as the document which corroborates Ms. Diaz Santillan's account was presented, Ms. Whitman curtly replied that this "allegation" was also going to be investigated in a completely transparent and unbiased manner.
Questioned on whether or not she had any evidence that her political Opponent, Cal AG Jerry Brown, in cahoots with, let's see -- as reported by Michelle ('Anchor Baby') Malkin in the usually cordial tone she uses with the opposition "Crapweasel lawyer Gloria Alfred produced the document she promised yesterday" -- Ms. Whitman responded in an visible angry tone "Everybody knows how the Democrats and their crooked shysters play dirty political tricks on their well intentioned and Patriotically-motivated Republican opponents.
Ms. Whitman seemed to lose her composure when another water-carrier-dem-shrill in the Liberal Lame-stream Media Elite, followed up by specifically asking again if she had any evidence, she angrily retorted "Everybody knows that! They do it all the time!", her impatience and anger appeared to grow when she went on to add that "It was no coincidence that as soon as I announced my intention to run for Governor, obviously Democrat-incited-bogus-charges surfaced, alleging that a global scam in luxury goods in ebay took place under my watch and also the obviously spurious charges that I also engaged in insider trading", "Everybody knows that the Democrats and their water-carriers in the Liberal-biased Lame-stream Media Elite, were behind these dirty political tricks..." At this point, and aide came to her side on the podium to whisper something in her ear, at which time, Ms. Whitman abruptly ended the Press Conference by thanking the attendees and voicing her hope they would be fair and unbiased in their reporting.
Shortly afterward at the local Press Dive, a group of reporters were pondering on what the aide had told Meg Whitman, the two prevailing opinions on it were that he told her to "Stop digging herself deeper into the hole" And/or "Never awaken sleeping dogs"
As they were leaving to write their reports, they were in amazement at her "Mayor League Championship Chutzpah" when one of them was overheard adding: "and in a highly contested field in their group not less'"
Meg Whitman to investigate herself on Maid-gate affair
05:38:16 pm, by aurora , 978 words
Categories: On Politics, Hatemongers R Liers, Satire