Friday, March 26, 2010

Trail of Dreams

My Family is Here

Posted on March 22, 2010 by grey

An anxiety overwhelmed my body, tingles from head to toe. I stopped and looked at her. After today, I thought, things were going to be different. I will be with them for almost 2 months. Things will change in my life’s book. Finalmente, Lucharé junto a ellos. Caminando.

Grey, you’re thinking in Spanish again. Focus. I know it hurts. Piensa en ellos, tu mamá, tu papá, tu hermana. En ti. En todos. No podemos seguir asi. Focus. You know what you feel. Pick up the phone and connect with your soul. It’s never been right. Quince años e indocumentada. My head is spinning with random thoughts, but my feelings remain constant. Happiness. Confidence. Faith. Hope.I will be with them. In pain and struggle, you have found brothers and sisters and in their dreams, power and strength, you have found your motivation. They are your family. They will be your home.

I looked at her, my mother, looking tired and worn out. Not because of age, but because of the years of pain and sacrifice etched on her face. A housekeeper, in the shadows. I waved goodbye. She wipes away her tears.

He waves at me. My dad, now in his 50’s, didn’t drive to drop me off. No license. He stands tall, hands in his pockets, and smiles. He’s happy. So am I.

She calls me right then. The valedictorian of her class, my sister has the brains but no papers. She wishes me luck and tells me she loves me.

If I scream it at the top of my lungs, will someone tell me why this is happening?

The bus leaves. I look one last time and we drive away.

My family is everything to me. I left them back in Florida.

I arrived in Spartanburg, South Carolina after 24 hours on the greyhound. I arrived looking for them, looking to be with the four people that keep inspiring me to do what I do.

I FOUND THEM HERE! My family is here.

I saw my mom in Gaby, nurturing and caring. She’s wise beyond her years and doesn’t let on. She’ll be a great mother someday. Una luchadora hasta el final. QUE RABIA! It’s not fair. UNDOCUMENTED.

I saw my sister in Carlos, analytical and strong. He has a presence, one that has impacted me. 20 years and still nothing. He wants to become and architect and so does she. Creative minds. Creative souls. Y que? UNDOCUMENTED.

I saw my father in Juan, cool, calm and collected. His intelligence exudes from within. Wow, he’s so eloquent. So many dreams and aspirations. TRISTEZA, RABIA, INJUSTICIA. UNDOCUMENTED.

I saw my mother in Felipe, so happy and carefree. His heart is light, despite his continuing struggle. YA BASTA. NO MAS. UNDOCUMENTED.

My family needs me. Grey, why do you do this? Remind yourself why. WHY? My family is suffering, they bleed from the inside but no one sees it.

You need to see it. We all need to see it. I’m here now. I heeded the call because I believe. I believe in them. I believe in the power we all have together.

I got into the RV and drove away. We drove to the light, united.
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