How many times has one of us stumbled across something that we know is unethical, yet are told by our superiors to stay quiet? How many times have we been told that we would lose our jobs if we "came out?" It seems to be the way of the world. The "brand" of our company, our school, our family is so important - it overrides ethical considerations.
Power keeps people quiet. A job, money, prestige, or a relationship could be at stake - often times it doesn't matter that by keeping silent we are hurting someone else.
Yet we forget the price of keeping our "brand" clean.
Do people really know the consequences of child sexual abuse? Of course everyone is aghast with the Penn State scandal, with repeated sorrow for the children involved. What we usually don't know is that the price is much much larger what appears on the surface. The life of that child (in this case its looking like at least 20 children) is de facto destroyed. Symptoms last for a lifetime - affecting relationships, marriage, parenting, education, career and emotional well being. Abuse often leaves a person with a feeling that everything will fall apart in a moment. It is almost impossible to develop good self esteem. Yet there is even more than this....
Add a few numbers. Think of the people who radiate the person who was abused... there are parents, siblings, friends, partners, spouses, children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, children of friends..... the list is never ending. Then there is the time factor. There is an old Jewish saying: a man pays seven generations for his sins.
Sandusky has created a tsunami of terror. For each of the 20 we know of - we are looking at generations of emotional turmoil - these things don't go away in one generation - they linger and linger - touching descendants for years to come. Sandusky has created a multiplicity of sadness.
There may be many Sanduskys who continue to circulate through the world. We cannot change how they think. Yet, we all have voices - it is the job of the rest of us to speak - the Sanduskys of the world will do less damage if they know we will not stay quiet.
MTH
November 11, 2011
Penn State supporters and students rioted this week, angry that the university's Board of Trustees fired legendary football coach Joe Paterno
late Wednesday over his handling of a former assistant coach accused of
molesting boys on campus. Surely, those fans and students have a right
to be angry, but not about losing their beloved coach. Rather, their ire
should be focused on the university and those who did too little to
protect endangered children...MORE
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